Why is my Sikhi questioned?

Before marriage it was my eldest brother

After marriage it is the one

I thought I was to be drawn closer to Sikhi

Instead being torn away

I don't wanna let go

I did this to be close to you

But I am being torn away

I am clinging to your keertan

...............being torn away

Please hold me Maharaj, my true Guru, my true heart, my true life...