In a state

In a state

Don't know what to say

Through the pregnancy I kept myself to myself

From the one

Now I am distant again

I feel used

I feel not worthy

I feel so far from everything

I do everything and yet feel so empty

Never before have I felt so alone

I feel like a soul-less body 

Just a corpse

Isn't it better to be dead?

The one does everything

I dont wana a be a burden

I was never a burden upon my own parents

I don't feel pretty 

I don't feel adequate

I feel so isolated

Feel the weight of the world on my shoulders

I miss routine of work

I miss my independence

I miss being me

As a mother you sacrifice your all

I love being a Mum

But am I coping?

I don't think so...I just feel I am not doing all I should

My emotions are everywhere at the moment

I feel I have no support 

Looking forward to spending time at my Mum and Dad's house

Feels as if my own home is no longer my own!

***Gift from Guru Ji***

With your kirpa
We have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl
Taran Kaur Cheema
Born 18th February 2012, 11:49pm

Maharaj, this is your daughter - hope we can always do right by her
All is within your hukam
Please keep your hand over her head
Guide us to be good parents
To instill Sikhi into her life

Thank you Maharaj

Beautiful Hukam

Started to feel contractions (I think).  Trying to do my naam simian as each sedation is felt....Maharaj please help us through....




In the beginning, in the middle and in the end, the Transcendent Lord has saved me. The True Guru has blessed me with the Lord's Name, and I have tasted the Ambrosial Nectar. In the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, I chant the Glorious Praises of the Lord, night and day. I have obtained all my objectives, and I shall not wander in reincarnation again. 


Everything is in the Hands of the Creator; He does what is done. Nanak begs for the gift of the dust of the feet of the Holy, which shall deliver him. ||1||


Fifth Mehl: Enshrine Him in your mind, the One who created you. Whoever meditates on the Lord and Master obtains peace. Fruitful is the birth, and approved is the coming of the Gurmukh. One who realizes the Hukam of the Lord's Command shall be blessed - so has the Lord and Master ordained. One who is blessed with the Lord's Mercy does not wander. 




Whatever the Lord and Master gives him, with that he is content. O Nanak, one who is blessed with the kindness of the Lord, our Friend, realizes the Hukam of His Command. 


But those whom the Lord Himself causes to wander, continue to die, and take reincarnation again. ||2|| Pauree: The slanderers are destroyed in an instant; they are not spared for even a moment. God will not endure the sufferings of His slaves, but catching the slanderers, He binds them to the cycle of reincarnation. Grabbing them by the hair on their heads, the Lord throws them down, and leaves them on the path of Death. They cry out in pain, in the darkest of hells. 


But hugging His slaves close to His Heart, O Nanak, the True Lord saves them. ||20||

Snatam Kaur - Divine Birth

Adi Shakti, Adi Shakti, Adi Shakti, Namo Namo

Sarab Shakti, Sarab Shakti, Sarab Shakti, Namo Namo

Pritham Bhagvati, Pritham Bhagvati, Pritham Bhagvati, Namo Namo

Kundalini Mata Shakti, Mata Shakti, Namo Namo

Translation:

I bow to (or call on) the primal power.

I bow to (or call on) the all encompassing power and energy.

I bow to (or call on) that through which God creates.

I bow to (or call on) the creative power of the Kundalini, the Divine Mother Power.

Snatam Kaur

Divine Birth

Maerae Govidhaa

This Shabad is by Guru Raam Daas Ji in Raag Gauree on Pannaa 173

gourree maajh mehalaa 4 ||

Gauree Maajh, Fourth Mehla:

aao sakhee gun kaaman kareehaa jeeo ||

Come, O sisters - let's make virtue our charms.

mil sa(n)th janaa ra(n)g maanih raleeaa jeeo ||

Let's join the Saints, and enjoy the pleasure of the Lord's Love.

gur dheepak giaan sadhaa man baleeaa jeeo ||

The lamp of the Guru's spiritual wisdom burns steadily in my mind.

har thut(h)ai dtul dtul mileeaa jeeo ||1||

The Lord, being pleased and moved by pity, has led me to meet Him. ||1||

maerai man than praem lagaa har dtolae jeeo ||

My mind and body are filled with love for my Darling Lord.

mai maelae mithra sathigur vaecholae jeeo ||

The True Guru, the Divine Intermediary, has united me with my Friend.

man dhaevaa(n) sa(n)thaa maeraa prabh maelae jeeo ||

I offer my mind to the Guru, who has led me to meet my God.

har vittarriahu sadhaa gholae jeeo ||2||

I am forever a sacrifice to the Lord. ||2||

vas maerae piaariaa vas maerae govidhaa har kar kirapaa man vas jeeo ||

Dwell, O my Beloved, dwell, O my Lord of the Universe; O Lord, show mercy to me and come to dwell within my mind.

min icMidAVw Plu pwieAw myry goivMdw guru pUrw vyiK ivgsu jIau ]

man chi(n)dhiarraa fal paaeiaa maerae govi(n)dhaa gur pooraa vaekh vigas jeeo ||

I have obtained the fruits of my mind's desires, O my Lord of the Universe; I am transfixed with ecstasy, gazing upon the Perfect Guru.

har naam miliaa sohaaganee maerae govi(n)dhaa man anadhin anadh rehas jeeo ||

The happy soul-brides receive the Lord's Name, O my Lord of the Universe; night and day, their minds are blissful and happy.

har paaeiarraa vaddabhaageeee maerae govi(n)dhaa nith lai laahaa man has jeeo ||3||

By great good fortune, the Lord is found, O my Lord of the Universe; earning profit continually, the mind laughs with joy. ||3||

har aap oupaaeae har aapae vaekhai har aapae kaarai laaeiaa jeeo ||

The Lord Himself creates, and the Lord Himself beholds; the Lord Himself assigns all to their tasks.

eik khaavehi bakhas thott n aavai eikanaa fakaa paaeiaa jeeo ||

Some partake of the bounty of the Lord's favor, which never runs out, while others receive only a handful.

eik raajae thakhath behehi nith sukheeeae eikanaa bhikh ma(n)gaaeiaa jeeo ||

Some sit upon thrones as kings, and enjoy constant pleasures, while others must beg for charity.

sabh eiko sabadh varathadhaa maerae govidhaa jan naanak naam dhhiaaeiaa jeeo ||4||2||28||66||

The Word of the Shabad is pervading in everyone, O my Lord of the Universe; servant Nanak meditates on the Naam. ||4||2||28||66|| Mayrah Govindaa

Happy Valentines'

Happy V day Maharaj
Xx
<3

Waiting game

It is a waiting game now

So cannot wait til I meet you

Maharaj kirpa you are born safe and sound

i have so much love to give 

Hope I can be a good Mum

Maharaj - please guide us through 

Numb

Don’t feel happy just numb of everything feels fake and not important