Gifts from Maharaj

Just when I felt spiritually dead
Just when I had lost faith
Just when I sensed a dead end
Just when I thought my mind had won

Maharaj spoke

A lesson of love
A lesson of truth
A lesson to comfort the broken heart
A lesson to remember


Christmas is a time of giving. I made a mistake and forgot to give to my brother n bhabhi for their 3rd anniversary (on xmas day). Was 'told' about it from the little one. My fault. Should have gone to get something. Just been so busy, didn't get a chance. Little one proper upset me. I turned to Sukhmani Sahib. (I try to read as often as I can, an Astpadi at a time).


dhaenehaar prabh shhodd kai laagehi aan suaae ||
One who renounces God the Giver, and attaches himself to other affairs
I am not the giver. Maharaj himself is the giver of gifts. I get so entangled in the love of Maya.

naanak kehoo n seejhee bin naavai path jaae ||1||
- O Nanak, he shall never succeed. Without the Name, he shall lose his honor. ||1||
I have not been doing paath as I should be, feeling so distant, not going simran or arising early. I think that I can succeed in life by succeeding in my career. Maharaj advises with pyar to remember God's name.

I read on and the tears began...


dhas basathoo lae paashhai paavai ||
He obtains ten things, and puts them behind him;



eaek basath kaaran bikhott gavaavai ||
for the sake of one thing withheld, he forfeits his faith.



eaek bhee n dhaee dhas bhee hir laee ||
But what if that one thing were not given, and the ten were taken away?


tho moorraa kahu kehaa karaee ||
Then, what could the fool say or do?

Maharaj teaches me that be grateful for all you have. He has given you so much. So much and he continues to give. We cry over the one thing that Maharaj never gives us. This put into perspective the gift the little one was talking about. So much commotion because I did not buy a gift for this one year. Who am I? Maharaj is the true giver. He gives to us all. O Maharaj I am so thankful for all the gifts you have bestowed onto me. We are blessed souls all with your kirpa.

I read on ...


man har kae naam kee preeth sukhadhaaee ||
O mind, the love of the Name of the Lord bestows peace.


kar kirapaa naanak aap leae laaee ||3||
O Nanak, the Lord, in His Mercy, unites us with Himself. ||3||

I wander around lost. I honestly did not want to pray. My mind was being so bad. Frustrates me even writing it. I don't know what it is. I felt so far from him that rather then actively trying to build my relationship, I just pulled away. But my Maharaj is so beautiful. He did not give up on me. He still held my hand after I turned my back on him. I hang my head in shame. I am so so so sorry Waheguru. I don''t know why is it so difficult. Why can't I just lay my head at your feet. Why is this path so difficult?

It is the path of truth
It is the path of sacrifice
It is the path for today and tomorow
Why do I fail at every attempt?

Standstill

Why do I feel my steps have stopped
I am at a standstill
I know the way forward
My Maan does not let me progress


:(

Seek your guidance

There are many obstacles
To the one even four years
Maharaj only you know the truth
You know the purity of this love

With your grace I can stay focused
I can achieve high
If I aim high
Only through your kirpa

An important time
A time you hold my hand
So much going on around me
The balance is important

Tun Thakur Tum Pai Ardas...

Your Love gives me strength

The vibration of your simran I felt whilst working today
You pull me closer each and every day
Guru Ji, it is only through your love that I can go on
You always get your message across

May you grant your kirpa on me
I beg at you door
May I not tread a step without you
Give me courage Maharaj

My sangat keep me going
Although I fall back with family
The ones I love hold me back
But my sangat is my strength

Talk to Maharaj

I got distracted by the following sabad...

It is SO SO beautiful...


pourree ||
Pauree:


keethaa lorreeai ka(n)m s har pehi aakheeai ||
Whatever work you wish to accomplish-tell it to the Lord.

Many things have been going round and round my head lately. And this beautiful sabad has clarified so much. Why do I wait for mere people around me to ask me what’s wrong. Let me talk to my Pyarah Preetam. Let me communicate to you Maharaj. You know my hearts inner most desires. Desires I dare not speak.

kaaraj dhaee savaar sathigur sach saakheeai ||
He will resolve your affairs; the True Guru gives His Guarantee of Truth.
When I have your guarantee what do I need this world of duality. Hold my hand Maharaj and take me to your realm of truth.

sa(n)thaa sa(n)g nidhhaan a(n)mrith chaakheeai ||
In the Society of the Saints, you shall taste the treasure of the Ambrosial Nectar.
When with you kirpa can I be part of the sangat. I have made so many mistakes in these last few weeks. I have thought bad of people. Had fights, took out my anger on people that did not deserve it. Please forgive me Maharaj

bhai bha(n)jan miharavaan dhaas kee raakheeai ||
The Lord is the Merciful Destroyer of fear; He preserves and protects His slaves.
I fear being far from you. I fear who I am turning into. Dnt let me be far from you. Dnt let me be in ego. When I am in ego, I am without you Waheguru.

naanak har gun gaae alakh prabh laakheeai ||20||
O Nanak, sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord, and see the Unseen Lord God. ||20||
Please find an excuse for Wednesday so I may join the society of saints.

Water in Water

Raag sorat(h) baanee bhagath ravidhaas jee kee
Raag Sorat'h, The Word Of Devotee Ravi Daas Jee:



ik oa(n)kaar sathigur prasaadh ||
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:


jab ham hothae thab thoo naahee ab thoohee mai naahee ||
When I am in my ego, then You are not with me. Now that You are with me, there is no egotism within me.
Each day I live in ego. Hence you see the posts of me complaining being far from Waheguru. A simple reason: I live in ego. It is always about me, me, me.



anal agam jaisae lehar mae oudhadhh jal kaeval jal maa(n)hee ||1||
The wind may raise up huge waves in the vast ocean, but they are just water in water. ||1||
Where have we all come from? From Waheguru. What was God’s reason to make the earth? The reason is for us to experience how to fall back into Rabh. The reason for water to rise and become a cloud is so it can flow back into the ocean again. Water is water (liquid), ice (solid), vapour (gas) but as Guru Ji is saying it is still water in water.

Rain is so beautiful. Rain is so romantic. Rain falls with such intensity because it can’t wait to be one with the ocean again. People call me weird because I love the rain when I am inside. I can sit on my bed for hours and just watch the rainfall. I see Sikhi. We are souls all apart of Rabh. We are here to merge back into Waheguru.



maadhhavae kiaa keheeai bhram aisaa ||
O Lord, what can I say about such an illusion?


jaisaa maaneeai hoe n thaisaa ||1|| rehaao ||
Things are not as they seem. ||1||Pause||



narapath eaek si(n)ghaasan soeiaa supanae bhaeiaa bhikhaaree ||
It is like the king, who falls asleep upon his throne, and dreams that he is a beggar.


ashhath raaj bishhurath dhukh paaeiaa so gath bhee hamaaree ||2||
His kingdom is intact, but separated from it, he suffers in sorrow. Such is my own condition. ||2||
We have all that we ever need inside us. It’s all inside us. The treasure of Naam is inside us. We usffer because we think we are separated from it. But we jus dnt know how to open that treasure of NAAM. I always feel so far from Maharaj. But I forget he is inside me. I suffer because I think I am far from him when he is there each and every day, every minute talking to me, taking care of me.


raaj bhueia(n)g prasa(n)g jaisae hehi ab kashh maram janaaeiaa ||
Like the story of the rope mistaken for a snake, the mystery has now been explained to me.



anik kattak jaisae bhool parae ab kehathae kehan n aaeiaa ||3||
Like the many bracelets, which I mistakenly thought were gold; now, I do not say what I said then. ||3||



sarabae eaek anaekai suaamee sabh ghatt bhuogavai soee ||
The One Lord is pervading the many forms; He enjoys Himself in all hearts.



kehi ravidhaas haathh pai naerai sehajae hoe s hoee ||4||1||
Says Ravi Daas, the Lord is nearer than our own hands and feet. Whatever will be, will be. ||4||1||

This reminded me of katha I heard by my brother Sukha Singh. He translated it beautifully. Waheguru is closer then your hands and feet. What is closer to you then your hands? When you get cut what goes there first? Your hand. When you fall over what stops you from faling? Your hand. What is closer to you then your hand? When you get something in your eye, what goes there first? Your hand. ‘Kehi ravidhaas haathh pai naerai sehajae hoe s hoee.’ He is closer then your hands and your feet. Maharaj is that close to us? Like I can see my hand I wish I could see you Maharaj. I wish I could see you. That longing is always there. ALWAYS.

Doubts

Why am I doubting the gift Guru Ji has given?
Why can I not seem to live without the one?

So where have the burning desire feelings gone?
Am I under the calm moonlight?