Saturday, September 13, 2008

Love

An old email that tells our story...

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Hey ***,
How are you? Hope you are doing well and I have been meaning to write to your for the last few days but been so busy with exams (I am studying for my accountancy exams and I officially hate tax and law!!!) Exams are like a week away and I feel like I still got loads to do.

Well you probably have guessed why I am writing to you. It would be so much easier for us to talk face to face or via phone but I can understand the circumstances you are in so will try and say what I wanna say via e-mail. If you do want to talk, give me a call on **** or drop me an e-mail.

First thing is first Do you have the faith? Do you have the faith in our beautiful father, Guru Ji? Before you ask anything you have to have the faith. Its easier sometimes said then done but as long as you keep your faith in Maharaj, *** nothing or no force in this world can ever stop you. You do your simran, you do your path, connect with Maharaj. Talk to him. I mean full on talk. He listens, he truly does. Talk from your honest heart and see how he hears your every breath your every heart beat. Everything in this life will perish, including family, including your other half but your soul will go back where it has come from. Back to Maharaj.

I don’t think I know enough to comment about you so all am I gona do is be selfish and tell you about what happened to me. How *** and I with the kirpa of Maharaj are together today. With Maharaj kirpa our wedding date has been arranged for 14th Feb 2009. It was a struggle all in itself but Maharaj held our hand through out.

*** and I met at *** and we instantly knew we were meant to be together. He couldn’t ever look me in the eye the first time we spoke and I thought he was quite rude and self centred but there was something inside me that kept wanting to bump into him again in the corridors. I thought it was nothing and carried on with my duties as a group leader.

We spoke a few times at camp there was something there. But I suppressed it thinking it just me being silly and blamed hormones. The day we left *** is always a sad one. You go from being at such a high from the keertan, from being with guru ji and sangat to the empty ness of your house. Its horrible. As my Dad came to pick me up I felt so empty. I knew it was the *** blues and though will take me a few days to get over it. As the days went on I realised I was missing something and was expecting a call from *** or least a text. But nothing. I kept thinking to myself why am I waiting for someone I don’t even know? As my Mum tried to fix me up with some dentist guy something inside me said ‘if it’s not ***, I don’t wanna know’ I couldn’t belive I was thinking this!! It was like I had no control over my feelings. It was completely in Maharaj’s hands. I kept thinking ‘* u know nothing about this guy, so why are you waiting for him to make contact??!’ I just couldn’t understand. We left *** on Satarday and Monday he added me onto msn ( I still have few of our msn convos!) I was so excited he had added me on msn. We spoke for an hour then began to text and that’s how it started…

I come from a fairly strict family in the sense that my eldest brother used to be really over-protective of me. But I am really close with my Mum. She is my best friend and I literally told her like in Oct 2006. I met *** in Aug 2006. Mum and I told Dad in Christmas 2006 so everything was done quick in that sense. We didn’t tell me elder brother as he had a thing that I was up to no good. He thought the society I was keeping was not good for me (!!?). He never has approved of my sikh friends from day one and disliked me going camp in 2006. He knew one or two of the people there and thought it was a ‘dating’ thing where people pretend to go there for Sikhi reasons to get away from parents. But every one entitled to their opinion. He found out from some one externally that I was with someone as my parents wanted to find the right time to tell him but someone already beat me and my parents to it! He was furious!

That’s when the arguments started. My brother said you don’t even know this guy etc etc but my parents supported me and said well if she likes him then why not? But soon enough when they found out his back ground they realised he was a from a different district in India. We are both Jatt but he is from Jallandher and I am from Ludhiana. Since that day my parents have despised this fact with a vengeance. There are different formalities and slight differences in the way the 2 districts speak Punjabi. My parents have always wanted me to settle with some one from our own district. But it is in the hands of Maharaj. I was given so much negativity at home. From being told to re-consider to everything. I was compared to my cousin sister who got married to the first guy they showed her and there was me the black sheep in the family. The one crossing the line. It was horrible. I hated it. At times I thought what’s the point and why don’t I just re-condier the whole thing, maybe my feelings were wrong about ***? I could have been wrong about *** but my Guru wasn’t. I took Hukam and in each one I took I asked Maharaj these words: Is *** my soul mate? Maharaj replied that *** was the one.

For a girl to spend the rest of her life with some 1 that her parents don’t approve of for whatever reason can be such a big thing. I mean being Indian kuriyaa we have always listened to our parents cos they are always acting with our best interests. When it comes to meeting the one and spending the rest of your life with someone it’s a decision that they can aid us in but ultimately the decision is ours as nothing will happen unless we consent to it. Our parents have taught and bought us up well to distinguish between right and wrong. Follow your heart. Listen to your Guru. You don’t fall in love every day. Only kismet wale find true love. Don’t loose it all because your parents cannot see that at the moment. Keep the faith in yourself, in your love, in your soul mate. Most of all Maharaj. Let him be your guide. Maharaj is gona test you at every stage. If you choose to embark on this path its not easy. Trust me there will be many obstacles to face. Every point your parents waiting for you to slip up or see a fault. But you have to be strong.

I was kept strong as I had Maharaj and *** was only a phone call away. I relied on him so much. I would shout at him for stuff my parents would say about him and take all my anger out on him cos my parents said one thing and my heart was saying another and I had to let it out. Its important to talk about it especially with your soul mate. They will be the one who truly understands you when it comes to love.

I am no expert and I am only talking from my one experience. Only you know whats best for you. Look deep inside yourself to discover it. The answer is there, right there inside you. Dig deep and be amazed at how beautiful the answer is…

Smile. You found love. Something some people only read about…



Tuesday, September 09, 2008

That time of the month...



Maharaj
I don't know how to begin this
Normally I can just write
You know what is happening

My body has no sign
I don't want this to be a problem
I dreamt about it last night
Is it to be?

Maharaj 2.5 months have gone
Where is it?
It is so hard
Please shower your grace Maharaj

Please