Where to find

Where do I start?

Where do I find the words?

Words that cannot convey the weight of emotion

I could cry a river if asked

River in which I immerse, float away, no weight on the water 

Even the water I don't trust

Nothing excites me

I dwell in this forever sadness

Constantly trying to loose weight, or do the right thing

I'm fed up. I'm fed up of life, of feeling like this I just want out 

I want to never awake from my forever sleep

I am wasting this gift that Maharaj gave me

But Maharaj I'm so tired

Tired of keeping up, tired of putting everyone else first, tired of it all

I can't keep up this presence any more

This sharade that I'm ok 

Inside I'm breaking 

I'm broken like my heart which shattered into so many pieces that it's impossible to mend

I've tried, I've tried to get on and ignore

I've even sought help but I'm past help

Where to go, what to do, this life I leave to you...