Day to day struggle

I am struggling now

Pushing loved ones sway

Faking I'm ok

Inside I'm broken. I break every day

Seems emotions weigh down on my body

I'm tired, mentally exhausted 

From putting on this mask

It is all on auto pilot

People don't even notice 

I expect the One to know this is so hard

So I push him away even more

Hate he doesn't know I'm crumbling 

I'm going inside 

I sometimes just want to not carry on

I feel like I've run out of steam

Happily close my eyes to just ly in here forever

Never to get up never to return as I'm struggling so bad 

I get breathless quickly and I carry on thinking I'm ok

I know why I'm breathless

I struggle to keep up

My emotions whirl round 

My body processes it by releasing through breath 

I can no longer take deep breaths as I'm too full of emotion

I can't do deep belly breathing cos everything is stuck

Writing this it's just flowing out 

But I'm tired of whirling round in circles 

I'm so tired 

Just want to slip into an eternal sleep😴