Pain of Life

I dnt wanna live no more

There is nothing to keep me here

I am so deluded and so far from the truth

The way I want to live my life, it's just not happening

I feel so depressed

I want to do more paath, listen to keertan

Instead I just get more n more down

You have given me this life

I thank you

But Maharaj Why can't I just lay my head in your lap

And just be absorbed into you

Why do I have to go thru this pain

This pain hurts

This pain

I cannot take it no more

The day I do become one with u

I am gona cry so much

So much

Aftermath of 1984

I am so angry
How could this happen?
Why the pain on the Sikh panth?
Why?

Why did this happen?
Why is it still happening?
Left me shaken
Left me scared

How could the man be so vile?
So small?
As a woman I feel the pain
As a woman I don't know what to do?

I think of how much Maharaj has protected me?
I think of 1984, the aftermath
Why the attachment to that year..
So much history

But did out Gurus create the Khalsa panth
To see such a day?
These were innocent people
I dnt understand

Maharaj where is the insaaf?

:'(

This can't be karma? Can it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSxATWBTkY8

Gurbani I long for

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q7AJM3ml_E

Watching your saints
Shows me how our sikhi
Encompasses all

There is something so beautiful
Something so captivating
Which I long for

Gurbani

SSC 2005...MEMORIES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ham_ws3glJQ

SSC 2005

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bqlEKHhwh0

SMS 2007

SSC 06..made me smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEB4c9bQTio

Sikh Student Camp 2006

Dhan Teri Sikhi
Dhan Guru keh Gursikh

What jokes we all had. An amazing camp...

Wooden Pot

Guru Nanak Dev Ji had a wooden pot. He threw this pot into the mud and asked Guru Angad Dev Ji to get it out of the mud without getting his clothes muddy. Guru Angad Dev Ji tried but when Guru Angad Dev Ji came out his clothes were muddy and so was the clean pot.

It was then that Guru Angad Dev Ji asked Guru Nanak Dev Ji to explain. Guru Nanak Dev Ji replied. Consider the pot as the human soul. It is clean at first just like the pot was clean. In the world it gets muddy. If no one saves this pot it will stay muddy. You saved it but not without getting exposed to the same mud....ie it is inevitable you will have to see sights you wish not to know about.

I wept in vain

The previous post about crying was written in vain as my Guru has given Hukam. After staying logged online I came across the HUKAM

nwnk ruMnw bwbw jwxIAY jy rovY lwie ipAwro ]naanak ru(n)naa baabaa jaaneeai jae rovai laae piaaro Nanak: he alone truly weeps, O Baba, who weeps in the Lord's Love.

vwlyvy kwrix bwbw roeIAY rovxu sgl ibkwro ]vaalaevae kaaran baabaa roeeai rovan sagal bikaaro One who weeps for the sake of worldly objects, O Baba, weeps totally in vain.

rovxu sgl ibkwro gwPlu sMswro mwieAw kwrix rovY ]rovan sagal bikaaro gaafal sa(n)saaro maaeiaa kaaran rovai This weeping is all in vain; the world forgets the Lord, and weeps for the sake of Maya.

cMgw mMdw ikCu sUJY nwhI iehu qnu eyvY KovY ]cha(n)gaa ma(n)dhaa kishh soojhai naahee eihu than eaevai khovai He does not distinguish between good and evil, and wastes away this life in vain.

AYQY AwieAw sBu ko jwsI kUiV krhu AhMkwro ]aithhai aaeiaa sabh ko jaasee koorr karahu aha(n)kaaro Everyone who comes here, shall have to leave; to act in ego is false.

nwnk ruMnw bwbw jwxIAY jy rovY lwie ipAwro ]4]1]naanak ru(n)naa baabaa jaaneeai jae rovai laae piaaro 41Nanak: he alone truly weeps, O Baba, who weeps in the Lord's Love. 41

You made me cry

Feel so tired

So run down

One conversation

From the one

You made me cry

I did not even say anything

You made me cry

All day been dying to hear your voice

You made me cry

Your emotions are in the hands of someone else

You made me cry

I hate what you do to me

You made me cry

I hate the power you have on me

I hate it

One word

I wanted to talk to you

To hold you close

To talk to you

But what did u do?

YOU MADE ME CRY

To the one,

Least at home I can get away from you, sit in the comfort of my own home and cry. Where will I go when you make me cry when I am in your house? Where will I go? I have such a sick feeling in my stomach, in my throat. To feel so alone. You don't care. You can act all manly and forget it. When I cry it leave a scar on my heart with your name on it. My soul aches. Then I think this is all fake. This life is so fake. Full of fake promises. I am fake.

There is only one truth in life.

That's you Waheguru

That is you.

Accept each gift as a blessing. These tears accept with Gur kirpa.

Tears flow and will keep on flowing...

A New Year

A new year
A new resolution
Made to be broken
I think not

These 2 weeks
On this client
How I need your support
But the doubt is there

Remove the doubt
Hey Waheguru Ji
Remove the doubt
Come through
As you do

I ask in the morning
When I say your name
Just once
Be there
By my side

As the day progresses
I forget your presence
How manmukh am I?

I say your name
Be by my side
Be by my side

Maharaj?

Damn doubt...