Wednesday, October 30, 2013

One month :(

It was one month today
Mum's soul left to see Maharaj
Can still remember her soft face
Pain was so intense

Keep dreaming of how we used to be
Close honest and full of love
Life feels a bit pointless
Wish Mum was here

I miss my Mum SO much
She lay there right leg arched
Mum never lay on her back
Something was not right

Pain had intensified
She was half here half in the next life
We were told she had days

Feel so lonely
Will I ever see Mum again?

Saturday, October 26, 2013

No words

No words express the pain or hurt
I miss you but those words don't have the depth that I experience
The score of the knife
That I feel when you not at no.5

Feel guilty as it feels like missing you is pulling you back
Back to the cancer ridden body
But that is no more
You are no longer in pain
That thought stops the tears 

You are giving me strength beyond this world
From wherever you are I can hear and feel your words
No friend or one will get the pain
Or understand how hard it is to rid the soul of that 18 month face
Tears don't fall cos I feel maharaj himself said it was time

You taught me to accept maharaj will
I am as you gave me your light
In your light we talked
We talked about things no1 else would get
You told me secrets of the soul

My soul yearns for you 
Help me to be what you have always wanted
Help me to live your dreams

Maharaj I was blessed to be born to such a precious soul
I know she is with you
When I die May my soul merge within Mum
May I see my Mum
My true blessing

Life feels as if it has come to an end 
But must go on for Mum's grand daughter
To be a Mum like my Mum
Waheguru



Labels:

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Sun Sajna

Sun tu paaveh na sun sajna
Veh Sadi ta fariyad hai
Na koi Tetoh phela si na koi Tetoh baad si



Thursday, October 17, 2013

Kanwar Grewal Sufi singer

Beautiful
https://soundcloud.com/kanwar-grewal

Tear

Every time that I smile, Every time that I sigh, I think of your face, And a tear escapes my eye.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Embracing death

New promise is to realise everyday how I am embracing death
Death should be at the forefront of our thoughts 
That way we will never forget Maharaj


Friday, October 11, 2013

Missing Mum

Feeling empty
Feeling blue
Almost like a sudden 
Crash of waves but now all is still

You wander down
Where an I go
Please someone take me to that precious soul
The one I call my Mum

All those instances that maharaj says
May someone take me to my beloved
I feel that bairaag for my mum

I feel so sad
So alone
How selfish am I 
At least mum is no longer in pain

Cannot figure or answer why the big C happened to Mum
Is it just an excuse to call upon those honest devotees 
I miss my mum my best friend

I wish I could talk to her
Touch her hug her and feel her soft embrace

How empty is this life without my mum
What's the point in living to die one day?

I feel far from maharaj 
And do everything cos I must
Wish I could go looking for mum... 

Miss my Mum 

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

My funeral

I don't want to be bathed
Don't want no fuss
Just a keertan prog for loved ones to enjoy


Mum passing

My mum passed away on 30th September 2013 at 17:09

Still feels surreal
Find my eyes wandering
My heart is weighed down with all that I want to tell
About everything

Even though her soul is with Maharaj
She is able to give me so much strength go carry on
I close my eyes and I feel her within me

My mum was is and always will be my best friend
My mum my all
I love mum from depths of my soul

Tomorrow is funeral :(

Waheguru it is all in your hukam...