Feeling

As we drove back in the car

As usual my thoughts were with Mum

How I long to talk to her about my feeling

And what's really going on

Little one says she wants to call Nani

Starts to explain who Nani is

Unable to hold the tears 

Car almost goes off track

Can't begin to describe my emotions

Upset and angry

Why my Mum?

Felt so much rage and felt let down

It's only Mum who truly cared for me

Asking me if I'd eaten if I was ok. 

I just want to feel loved again by my Mum

I would do anything to be with her

It's been almost 18months without Mum 

I don't know how long I can continue pretending 

Before the front I did for Mum

Now I ask why do I carry on?

This world seems opaque

Flawed with injustice 

Everyone's life is so perfect around me

But mine is empty

Mum I miss you like beyond belief

I'm done with the world

Full of boat races

Everything is so trivial

Without that true love of a mother 

I feel so alone but have no one to turn to

Feel stupid for feeling like this

The One calls it feeling sorry for myself which frustrates me even more

Makes me feel weak

He was brink of D. Try just being me

Sometimes I think Dubai was a mistake

Took away my routine

Just my flow to be

Into a world where I struggle to make my own

I have so much to say but no one I trust enough to share my deepest truths that will understand or just listen. 

Mum you were it all

Everything I know and love x

Emptiness

Without talking to you Mum

All talk is empty

Nothing is fulfilling 

I feel no one is on my side

Who is rooting for me?

I honestly miss you Mum

I wish I could talk to you... 

Focus

As I try and focus myself
I see your face Mum
I listen again and again to
Tere Kiya Meetha Laga
That Maharaj this is all in your hukam

I so want to see you again
From the depths of my soul
Just a cuddle, re-assuring words
To be in your embrace was like being held by Guru Nanak

Listening to Simran helps me be close to you
Like I can feel you near but something holds you back
Wish you were here...

I don't think loosing Mum is something I will ever get over or accept
I had a dream that Dad told me in a dream that he does not have long left

Miss you Mum xx

Need you Mum

Today Maskeen Ji taught me why I have dreams of Mum

What I want to do, see or talk

I cannot do in the day

I see you in my dreams 

Today Taran picked up my phone

Dialled Mum and said 'Nanny naal gal karniah'

How I long to listen to you to hug you and be with you

I need you Mum x 

Pointless

OI sit and wait for you

This would hv been our time

Chilling chatting catching up

Hate being alone 

Nobody to talk to

There is talking then there is sharing 

Your heart

I wish I could see you

To be with you

Miss you Mum

Missing Mum

By Claudia Lee

I awake each morning to start a new day

But the pain of losing you never goes away.

I go about the things I have to do 

And as the hours pass I think again of you.

I want to call you and just hear your voice

Then I remember that I have no choice

For you are not there and now my heart cries

Just to see you again to tell you goodbye

To say Mum I love you and I always will

And hope that much of you, in me you’ve instilled.

The day that you left I just didn’t know

That you were going where I couldn’t go.

And now all my memories of you are so dear

But gosh, how I miss you and wish you were here.

Who now can hear me when I need to cry?

It so hard to tell you “Mum goodbye.”

Someday I know all will be well

And I’ll see you again with stories to tell

Of how you were missed and how we have grown

And how good it is to finally be home.

Until then my memories of you I’ll keep near

And I’ll pass them on to those who are dear.

I miss you Mum,

Last time

I can still remember the last time we hugged, we kissed, that I lay next to you. It was the 22nd September just after 5pm. My eldest brother offered to take the little one to his house. So I cuddled up to Mum. 

Mum said "tu Aja mere naal pehja..." She held me close and said "Tera saachi viah hogia? Tu ta meri Nikki jehi pappi ah" Mum kissed me and held me close. 

Mum said little one will be ok with her mama Ji,don't worry. 

My mum used to say that I have such a little face and how I never looked married because I never wore make up or dressed any different to when I was single. She loved the fact I had my own key and came and went as I pleased. She said as long as the parents were alive a daughter can come and go as she wants. She treated me like a princess.  My mum was my world. My best friend. 

How could I worry when I was lying in heaven. 

I miss you so much, my tears pierce my heart. 

This is the picture my brother sent when I was with my Mum

Feeling weighed down

I feel weighed down

As of late I loose my balance

Like I miss my support

To stand up tall

I want to bury myself

Deep within the earth

In the hope I can steal a moment 

When can I talk to you?

My period is barely there

You worry if I will conceive

I say Maharaj's will

But I miss your worrying

You won't believe but I started my period

My mum told me before me

I was pregnant 

My mum told me before me

The pain of child birth

My mum told me before me

Never trust those that betrayed Guru Gobind Singh Ji

My mum told me 

You taught us to give to those less fortunate

And yet I could give nothing to you...

Why do I feel you/Maharaj are mad at me?

Need a hug from my Mum xx

Mum birthday

As each passing day goes by
A tear falls from my eye
With each day passing me
A memory comes to mind
Without you by my side
Tears and memories compile

My heart feels heavy as I have so much to say 

I hope Mum is at peace as I can only pray

Source: For A Mother's Birthday, Birthday Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/for-a-mothers-birthday#ixzz2noIuFcVh 
Family Friend Poems 

I'm sorry Mum

London bound today

But usually excitement to see Mum

Overwhelms

Not today

Not had a dream about Mum for few days

What does that mean?

Is Mum upset with me?

I wish she was still here

Please don't be upset with me?

I'm sorry

She would have loved to see the little one in a suit

This ones for you Mum 

Calling from Dubai

This time last year

I remember calling you

Even if for a minute 

Just to hear you were ok

You were my energy

The reason to go on

I stop and wonder

Where to go now

If I could be anywhere 

Would be by your side

I miss you so much

More than mere words can describe

Day by day

The pain prolongs

Dips deep to drain

Every part of me that holds on

That I will see you again

I miss you

I love you Mum x 

One wish

To behold your blessed sight

To immerse in your light

To touch and feel your embrace

To kiss your cheek one more time

Feel empty 

Washed away

Not one glance

It only gets worse

If tears could convey

That piercing pain

That 18 month face would be no more

It would be ripped away

Just like my heart from yours

With folded hands I make one wish

Just tell me you are ok

I dreamt I saw you just as normal

Why can't you be here

My Guru, My love, My Mum

I miss you so much

How do I go on...? 

I wait for you

Close my eyes to make the world stop

Life is passing but what's the use

I question if I will ever cope?

Without Mum what's the use?

With the sincerity of the soul

Yearning of my heart

Empty ness of my eyes

I wait for you...

Deep within I ask for you

That wherever you are

You are one with Akaal Purakh

Back in June

You said you didn't want to leave us

But coming and going is beyond our control

I didn't want you to go

I held you so tight

We cried and I asked Maharaj to help us

Where can I go to see you?

I dream of you often

Your presence is absorbed in everything I do

Our thoughts continuously reminisce 

Waheguru x

Why Mum?

Today as I drove to work my mind was enriched with thoughts of Mum

Some that made me so sad

Brought a tear to the eye

Knowing my physical body wont be able to see, touch or feel my beautiful Mother

 

Maharaj hukam today

I always ask Mum

Why did you leave me? I need you SO much

Maharaj says O friend, such is the Dear Lord whom I have obtained. He does not leave me, and He always keeps me company

He does not leave me to go anywhere else

 

Waheguru if you a truly there

Why Mum?

Why did Mum have to go?

What did I do that was so bad that I have to go on without my mother?

 

x

 

 

 

No words

No words express the pain or hurt

I miss you but those words don't have the depth that I experience

The score of the knife

That I feel when you not at no.5

Feel guilty as it feels like missing you is pulling you back

Back to the cancer ridden body

But that is no more

You are no longer in pain

That thought stops the tears 

You are giving me strength beyond this world

From wherever you are I can hear and feel your words

No friend or one will get the pain

Or understand how hard it is to rid the soul of that 18 month face

Tears don't fall cos I feel maharaj himself said it was time

You taught me to accept maharaj will

I am as you gave me your light

In your light we talked

We talked about things no1 else would get

You told me secrets of the soul

My soul yearns for you 

Help me to be what you have always wanted

Help me to live your dreams

Maharaj I was blessed to be born to such a precious soul

I know she is with you

When I die May my soul merge within Mum

May I see my Mum

My true blessing

Life feels as if it has come to an end 

But must go on for Mum's grand daughter

To be a Mum like my Mum

Waheguru