Tonight Sikh Student Camp Reunion!

Its here!!
What?


All over again...The anand. The kirtan. The bliss. The talks . The jokes. The laughs. The Unity. The beauty. Get boosted!!!

Why?

T-shirts, photos, audios, and more camp memorabilia to be given out, also post koka pop cup final reaction, and a chance to catchup with the Sikh Student Camp Sangat..... and if thats not enough... theres going to some fantastic langar tooo!!!!

Where?

Central Gurudwara - Shepherds Bush
62 Queensdale Road
London
W11 4SG

Nearest tube: Sheperds Bush, central line, hammersmith and city line


When?

Saturday 30th September 2006

6.00pm - 9.00pm

If you are free earlier during the day ... PLEASE come along and help us make Langar Langar Langar!! (",)


Who?

YOU, YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR FAMILY!!!!


SEE YOU THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
www.sikhstudent.org

Only ONE

This post was written last week at work...(yes it was one of them days!)

I started writing my blog about an hour ago and I asked a question to Maharaj:

Is it all pre-ordained destiny?

A collegue of mine answered my Question within the hour (as we were discussing Rabh, spirituality, religion) NOW THAT'S AMAZNG. Thank you Maharaj!

He tore up 4 pieces of paper and labelled them a, b, c and d.

He turned them over and ticked one and said:

'Pick one. But know you will always pick the ticked one as that is what God has planned for you. You with your free choice will pick the ticked one with your thoughts and with your free will.'

I understood immeaditely.

I said 'even if i go through all 4 choices, I will still come back to the ticked choice. This is all in Maharaj's will. This is all in his perfection.'

We spoke about marriage (as it is a hot topic at home) and he said no matter what happens, there is only one guy that God has chosen for you. I know for a lot of people out there, parents and family will put pressure on us to 'see' people via arranged marriage but there is only ONE. Just like there is only ONE AKAAL PURAKH, there is only one person Maharaj has chosen for you.Just like a beautiful bride waits for only one
Just like our soul yearns for you
Through your kirpa she meets her husband
Throught your kirpa she attains union with you

Thank you Maharaj
:)

Negativity

I started off writing a post last night, all negative feelings but the web page crashed. I think it was too much negativity! Maharaj did not want me to share this negativity. This morning that negativity has changed into the most positive energy. I cannot thank Maharaj enough.

Last night I wrote:

Feel so far
Hate myself
Feel so empty
Feel so low

Heart feels hollow
Not feeding my soul?
Feel frustrated
Feel so low

The headache pounds
Anguish builds up inside me
I ask for your grace
But feel so far from you

Last night I cried. I cried becuase I couldn't understand myself. I couldn't understand why Maharaj was putting me through all these emotions...I was so upset, down and depressed...but I couldn't explain it to myself, let alone anyone else. I thought I will talk to Maharaj...This was yesterdays Hukamnama on Ang 659:

RAAG SORAT’H, THE WORD OF DEVOTEE BHEEKHAN JEE,
ONE UNIVERSAL CREATOR GOD. BY THE GRACE OF THE TRUE GURU:

Tears well up in my eyes, my body has become weak, and my hair has become milky-white. My throat is tight, and I cannot utter even one word; what can I do now? I am a mere mortal. || 1 ||

Last night laying there...I couldn't go to sleep. I felt this feeling. I didn't know why I was crying or what I was feeling.

O Lord, my King, Gardener of the world-garden, be my Physician, and save me, Your Saint. || 1 || Pause ||
The only prayer I have. The only request I make, Waheguru.

My head aches, my body is burning, and my heart is filled with anguish. Such is the disease that has struck me; there is no medicine to cure it. || 2 ||




The weird thing was I had this pounding headache. I felt so much gusa inside me. When I was asked if I was okay, I had to fight the tears back...and yea as Guru Ji said there was no cure for it...

The Name of the Lord, the ambrosial, immaculate water, is the best medicine in the world. By Guru’s Grace, says servant Bheekhan, I have found the Door of Salvation. || 3 || 1 ||
I don't think I have found this door. I am experiencing so much but this door seems so far.

Yesterday I was proper lazy though. I didn't do Japji Sahib or Rehraas. I just "listened". Maybe that's why I felt so far from Maharaj?

Check out today's Hukamnama:

“Ham paapee tum paap khandan neeko thaakur daysaa. Rahaa-o.”

We are sinners (“paapee”), the doers of misdeeds. If we are sinners then you, Guru Ji, are “Tum paap khandan”, where “paap” means sin and “khandan” means the destroyer. Guru Ji you are the destroyer of sins. Its like Guru Ji is saying if we are the negative side of the magnet, you are the positive side. Oh God, if we are the doer of sins, you are the destroyer of sins. “Neeko thaakur daysaa” where “neeko” means beautiful, “thaakur” means the Lord and “daysaa” means abode, the place where the Lord abides. That place is beautiful where God abides. “Rahaa-o” Guru Ji says pause and think about this.

Just last night I was feeling the negativity and today Maharaj has answered all my questions...I thank you again and again!

Guru Ji later on in the Hukam goes onto say...

“Tum karahu bhalaa ham bhalo na jaanah tum sadaa sadaa da-i-aalaa.”
Oh God, “tum karahu” means you do. What do you do? “Bhalaa” means good. God whatever you do is good. In this line, Guu Ji is teling us how to live our life. Everything you do is good. “Ham bhalo na jaanah” where “jaanah” means to recognise, “ham” mean we. We don’t recognise it to be good. Whatever you do is perfect, oh perfect Master. But we do not see it to be good. We always say this shouldn’t have happened this way, that shouldn’t have happened that way. But everything you do is perfect. “Tum sadaa sadaa da-i-aalaa.” where “tum” means you, “sadaa sadaa” means forever and ever, “da-i-aalaa” means compassionate, most kind.

The feelings felt last night happened in perfection. To the one who asked if I was okay..it all happened with his will. There is nothing that anyone could do...its just this beautiful relationship with Maharaj...Something I hope to share with you face to face, I promise.

“Tum sukh-daa-ee purakh biDhaatay tum raakho apunay baalaa. ||3||”
“Sukh daa-ee” means the giver of peace. “Purakh” means the primal being and “biDhaatay” means the creator of all destinies. “Tum raakho apunay baalaa” means oh God please “raakho”, please protect “apunay baalaa” your own children. Guru Ji says we are your children, please protect us.

I am your daughter. I beg for your protection. Never to let me waiver from this path. May I always return with your kirpa.

You Took My Hand

I smile remembering the events of today
You took my hand
Took me to my destination
I had your beautiful darshan today Maharaj

I was lost physically
You took my hand
You showed me the way
I followed smiling

This was the physical destination
Maharaj has a deeper message
You took my hand
Spiritually you show me the way

Today I was driving and I got kind of lost (yes typical kuri!). I pulled up to check a map but I didn’t have the correct one for the area I was in.

So I decided to pull up in a retail park and ask in one of the main stores. This lady stepped out of one of the stores and I thought ‘ask her’. I asked her for directions and she began explaining and then said ‘look why don’t you just follow me?’ For me this was pure Rabh. This was Maharaj. This was Waheguru saying ‘koina puth I will help you reach your destination’. I was so thankful to this beautiful soul of Maharaj. She showed me the way. But the reason why I am sharing this story is because it has a much more meaningful message. You may see I write so many times to Maharaj, that I miss you or that I feel so distant. But Maharaj taught me a very valuable lesson today. Communication is a two process. How can Maharaj be there for you or give you direction when you don’t ask for help. We let our ego get in the way and we think we know best. We don’t. I defiantly don’t. Maharaj reiterated this in the Hukamnama as well.

Check out today’s Hukamnama:

"Angeekaar kee-o parabh apunai bhagtan kee raakhee paat.""Angee" means a limb "kaar"
means to make one into. God so enveloped me with love, Guruji is saying, that I realised I am a limb, a part of God. "Parabh apunai" means my Lord. My Lord God has made me realise I am part of that eternal ocean of my Lord. "Bhagtan kee raakhee paat." And what else has God done? "Bhagtan" means the devotee, "paat" means honor "raakhee" means to look after. God himself has saved, has protected the honor of his devotee, of his beloved one.
God himself saw me in trouble today and helped me. Maharaj you are too great. Everything that happens in our day happens for a reason. This short story may seem so minor to everyone else but to me it’s my Guru teaching me. Try it. Tomorrow is a new day. Take everything that happens in the day and look for clues Maharaj leaves you. It is so amazing. I thank you once again Waheguru. I truly don’t know how I can thank you for all that you do for me. Just never leave my side.

Attachment

Attachment is maya
Attachment is what I cannot escape from
Attachment is how I become engrossed in the world
Why can I not attach myself to your name?

Time runs out
I have not much time
Something I felt from a young age
Why can I not attach myself to Simran?

I am so ashamed
Since starting work I sacrifice our time
Please forgive me. Bless me Maharaj
Why can I not attach myself to Maharaj?

So Distant...

I feel so distant from you Maharaj
Hence why I have not written to you
Almost a week and hardly a word
Please forgive me

Today’s Hukam explained my sentiments
I made no effort for my Guru
But my Guru made every effort for me
He never gives up on me



He reminds me with each step I take
He reminds me of his love
He reminds me what I miss out on
He knows my hearts secret desires

So many gifts from you Maharaj
I am so grateful
For all the gifts you bestow
Thank you


Soohee mehalaa 5 ||
Soohee, Fifth Mehla:


oumakiou heeo milan prabh thaaee ||

An intense yearning to meet God has welled up in my heart.
As I walked home from the station today I listened to Kailash Kher...Teri Deewani and that feeling, that longing of Maharaj welled up deep inside my heart. I felt saddened because I had been missing this feeling. I had been missing Maharaj. This last week or my mind has been so pre occupied in other stuff that I didn’t give enough time to Maharaj. I feel ashamed writing this but its true.

khojath chariou dhaekho pria jaaee ||
I have gone out searching to find my Beloved Husband Lord.

I remember running up the stairs to go and see Maharaj. When I read this that is what first came to mind. I ran up the stairs to see Guru Ji. What I must remember is that I need to embark on that beautiful journey within myself. To meet Maharaj I need to go within not out.

sunath sadhaesaro pria grihi saej vishhaaee ||
Hearing news of my Beloved, I have laid out my bed in my home.


bhram bhram aaeiou tho nadhar n paaee ||1||
Wandering, wandering all around, I came, but I did not even see Him. ||1||

kin bidhh heearo dhheerai nimaano ||
How can this poor heart be comforted?

When the heart goes through some emotions, I reach out to hold my pillow. I look for comfort. I feel so alone when I miss Maharaj. I feel no one understands me. I want to comfort my heart but at the same time I don’t. The heart yearns for Maharaj and that yearning reminds me of Maharaj. But if the heart is comforted I fear I will stop thinking of Maharaj.

mil saajan ho thujh kurabaano ||1|| rehaao ||
Come and meet me, O Friend; I am a sacrifice to You. ||1||Pause||


eaekaa saej vishhee dhhan ka(n)thaa ||
One bed is spread out for the bride and her Husband Lord.


dhhan soothee pir sadh jaaga(n)thaa ||
The bride is asleep, while her Husband Lord is always awake.

I sometimes feel I pass my life away in sleep. Waheguru calls each and everyday. Not once have I got up at Amrit Vela, to sing your praises Maharaj, like I did at camp. Camp gave me that boost, that energy, that drive to get up. Why can I not maintain that relationship at home?

peeou madharo dhhan mathava(n)thaa ||
The bride is intoxicated, as if she has drunk wine.


dhhan jaagai jae pir bola(n)thaa ||2||
The soul-bride only awakens when her Husband Lord calls to her. ||2||


bhee niraasee bahuth dhin laagae ||
She has lost hope - so many days have passed.

Look What Guru Ji says!!! Even Guru Ji has said it!! So many days have passed. So many days have passed since camp. This is exactly how Guru Ji talks to us. Waheguru.

dhaes dhisa(n)thar mai sagalae jhaagae ||
I have travelled through all the lands and the countries.

khin rehan n paavo bin pag paagae ||
I cannot survive, even for an instant, without the feet of my Beloved.


hoe kirapaal prabh mileh sabhaagae ||3||
When God becomes Merciful, I become fortunate, and then I meet Him. ||3||


bhaeiou kirapaal sathasa(n)g milaaeiaa ||
Becoming Merciful, He has united me with the Sat Sangat, the True Congregation.

Please bless me with the congregation of the true saints. It’s where I want to be. It’s where this soul is happy. It’s heaven upon earth. The true bliss is attained there.
boojhee thapath gharehi pir paaeiaa ||
The fire has been quenched, and I have found my Husband Lord within my own home.


sagal seegaar hun mujhehi suhaaeiaa ||
I am now adorned with all sorts of decorations.


kahu naanak gur bharam chukaaeiaa ||4||
Says Nanak, the Guru has dispelled my doubt. ||4||


jeh dhaekhaa theh pir hai bhaaee ||
Wherever I look, I see my Husband Lord there, O Siblings of Destiny.

When will such a day come? Where wherever I Look all I see is Maharaj?

kholihou kapaatt thaa man t(h)eharaaee ||1|| rehaao dhoojaa ||5||
When the door is opened, then the mind is restrained. ||1||Second Pause||5||

Is Guru Ji talking about the tenth gate? The Dasam Dwar?

Each day we can have a conversation with Guru Ji. He really does talk to us. He really does. Maharaj you are too great. I cannot describe how great you are. My small mind shall never be able to comprehend your greatness Waheguru.

I Miss You

I made my way to come and see you this evening
Stepped outside my house and saw a family taking Guru Ji with respect and pyar
I smiled. I thank you
Hoping to hear your keertan at the Gurdwara

Running up the stairs
The lights were off
The darbar was closed
My face fell as I stood in darkness

My heart sank
I felt like crying
I saw a few friends
Didn't matter

When will I get the chance to be in your darbar again?
When can I sing your praises with the sangat?
Why are you keeping me away?
Why can't I accept hukam?

Your daughter cries for you
Your daughter has a yearning for just you
With folded hands I make this prayer
Let me appreciate your sangat and beautiful keertan.

Please Maharaj. Please?

Please Maharaj, I miss you.

Pain is Love

Is it possible to fall in love?
Is it possible to experience love in its purest form?
Is it possible to see Maharaj in that purity?

Is it possible to long for Maharaj with such intensity?Is it possible to sit and be lost in your thoughts?
Is it possible to loose track of time in the thought?
Is it possible to forget oneself as Akal draws you nearer?
Is it possible to long for Maharaj with such intensity?

Is it possible to feel something you have never felt before?

Is it possible to acknowledge the emotions with mere words?
Is it possible words lead to confusion and let the love hurt?
Is it possible to long for Maharaj with such intensity?

These are words from the soul and my heart aches writing each word but Maharaj your love is just out of this world. It gets so painful to write any more. I physically cannot go on Waheguru.

Friday Night

I didnt want to leave your darbar
Your keertan, your saints
I wanted to just stay there
Blessed are those who have the freedom to do so

You showed so much love Maharaj
Bin Bolya Sabh Janda
I did not need to say a word
You knew my every thought

Friday evening I was blessed in going to see Guru Ji. It was the first time after camp so I felt really nervous (don’t ask why!). As I went to bow my head to Guru Ji I just had an overwhelming surge of emotions and was thankful of being able to sit so close to Guru Maharaj. Just being in Guru Ji’s presence is amazing. The feelings, the calmness is out of this world.

To hear the keertan was a blessing. Thank you Maharaj. I also heard a beautiful sabad that I still cannot get out of my head. The one line keeps replaying:

“aaj maerai aaeae hai”

Such beautiful words. I didn’t know what they meant but I could feel what Mahraj was saying. At the time it felt as if Guru Ji was expressing to camp sangat how happy he was to see everyone, happy that everyone had returned to feel the bliss of camp that can only be felt in Guru Ji’s presence. I felt so much love that night that I cannot even begin to explain. So many thoughts went through my head. I asked my brother Rishipal Singh to go through the sabad he was singing. He wrote something so beautiful.

Bhai Gurdas Diya Varan

supan charithr chithr baanak banae bachithra


paavan pavithr mithr aaj maerai aaeae hai ||


param dhaeiaal laal lochan bisaal mukha


bachan rasaal madhh madhhur peeaaeae hai ||


sobhith sijaasan bilaasan dhai a(n)kamaala


praemaras bisam hue sehaj samaaeae hai ||


chaathrik sabadh sun akheeaa oughar gee


bhee jal meen gath bireh jagaaeae hai ||aaa||

Imagine you are lost in a good dream. You are just coming to the main part, the most exciting part. Your heart is racing, you can feel your self filled with immense passion and joy and then all of a sudden you wake. And then you sit in despair. You think to your self ‘What was that all about? What was going to happen next? You are left at a cliff hanger and you have come to the dramatised music which tells you that the show has ended and you have to wait for the next showing (Rishipal Singh).


(Wow, this gives me butterflies just thinking about it.
To be so close yet so far
The yearning thereafter is unbearable
Your heart does not let you rest)

In the same way Bhai Gurdas Ji talks of the moment he saw the beautiful vision of his Beloved like a dream. But like a dream he came and he went. Like a glimpse, the glimpse has now left him with intense love but now also with intense yearning for now he wishes he falls asleep again so he may see his Beloved again. Guru Nanak Maharaj says this in one of his amazing sentiments. (Rishipal Singh) They say

supanai aaeiaa bhee gaeiaa mai jal bhariaa roe ||
In a dream, He came, and went away again; I cried so many tears.

aae n sakaa thujh kan piaarae bhaej n sakaa koe ||
I can't come to You, O my Beloved, and I can't send anyone to You.

aao sabhaagee needharreeeae math sahu dhaekhaa soe ||
Come to me, O blessed sleep - perhaps I will see my Husband Lord again.

(I sit and wonder
I have not had your darshan
I have not had this dream
But I feel that intense love

Is that possible?)
The vision of his Beloved came. And now in longing he searches for that vision he will go anywhere and everywhere to search for it.

In the same way Bhai Gurdas ji in this shabad says that something an entity so unusual and exciting has come over him that he has become overwhelmed with emotions like the excitement of a child.

(Rishipal Singh) This supreme being, the most compassionate and merciful came before him and now Bhai Gurdas Jis eyes pine for seeing this Beloved again. This Beloved was so radiant, he was so great and beyond contemplation and comprehension. His words were so sweet; He fed me sweet honey and intoxicated me with his wine of love. Sitting on his high throne Bhai Gurdas ji sees him, beholds him and is lost in his love. This love has gripped him and this love surrounds him and this state of peace existed even for those few seconds. Just like the sound of the Chatrik, the sweet bird that hums in the early hours of the morning. Just like a sweet song that makes you alert at once, Bhai Gurdas ji is now in deep spiritual depression, longing to hear the sound of his Beloved once again. Just like the fish taken out of the water which longs to fall back in, Bhai Gurdas ji pines for that sleep to come once again so he may see his Beloved that one more time. For that moment of experience meant a lifetime and one where the memory will exist forever to come.

Thankyou Rishipal Singh

(There is nothing more left to say)

True Love

You love me more then anyone else
Why do I miss you?
If I miss the Simran, you grant me your grace to come and see you
I love being in your presence

You are the light of this life
Please don't leave me
I cannot live without you
Maharaj the pain continues

People will act their love
You show your love
I wish I could just lay my head at your feet
Please keep me close