Amazing

At Sikh Student Camp 2006, Maharaj blessed me with the opportunity to take a personal Hukamnama. The answers were simply too good to be true. You do not need a middle person to translate the Hukam for you. Write your questions on one side (that you thought when doing the ardaas) and then read the Hukam and match up the questions to the answers. Watch the tears of happiness trickle. The love for Maharaj cannot be explained by mere words. Experience it. Talk to Maharaj. Feel the sweetest pain in your heart, yearn for Maharaj. I cannot write no more. Please forgive me. The yearning continues... WaheguruI looked to you for guidance
I was lost and confused
You gave all my answers in one Hukam
Amazing

My heart feels excited thinking about you
You are the universal truth
You are the answer to the world's problems
Amazing

I cannot contain my excitement
A re-discovered treasure
You have always been there
Amazing

Please forgive me Guru Ji
I was the one who didn't pay attention
Now I turn to you for everything
Amazing

Beautiful Honour

Friday 25th August 2006

The opportunity of a lifetime
The chance to hold my Guru
The honour
The privellege

Thank you


I lacked confidence
I was scared
I didn't want to make a mistake
I felt I was not worthy



The King of Kings
Maharaj
To sit so close
To feel so close

Thank you

My First Dastaar

I tied my first Dastaar at Sikh Student Camp 2006 on Thursday 24th August 2006. An experience I shall never forget. Thank you Maharaj.

I was Guru Gobind Singh Ji's daughter
I walked with grace
I felt proud
I belonged to MaharajI sat in your darbar, Maharaj
I felt beautiful
I felt honoured to have your crown
I couldn't wipe the smile from my face

My face glowed
My actions were inaccordance to you
I was worried about my ego
I enjoyed the precious moment

So many compliments
Still scared of ego
Please bless me with your kirpa
I want to tie a beautiful dastaar when you GIVE me Amrit

The Next morning I arose
No-one to tie my dastaar
I felt so empty, missing something
I didn't feel special no more

As time goes on I shall again get by without the crown
I promise to you my King of Kings
This daughter of yours shall wear the dastaar
When I am blessed with Amrit

MrSikhnet

This was the Hukamnama on that beautiful Thursday.

This Shabad is by Guru Arjan Dev Ji in Raag Soohee on Pannaa 749

Soohee mehalaa 5 ||
Soohee, Fifth Mehla:

Jis kae sir oopar thoo(n) suaamee so dhukh kaisaa paavai ||
When You stand over our heads, O Lord and Master, how can we suffer in pain?

If I am wearing your beautiful dastaar, and all my actions are in accordance with you how can I suffer pain? You protect me through everything and are by my side through every waking, sleeping moment.

Bol n jaanai maaeiaa madh maathaa maranaa cheeth n aavai ||1||
The mortal being does not know how to chant Your Name - he is intoxicated with the wine of Maya, and the thought of death does not even enter his mind. ||1||

Ego was my biggest problem. Ego was something which kept that barrier between me chanting your name, Maharaj. Please forgive me Waheguru. If there is ego in my mind, I do not know how to chant you name. Please bless me and help me control Maya.

Maerae raam raae thoo(n) sa(n)thaa kaa sa(n)th thaerae ||
O my Sovereign Lord, You belong to the Saints, and the Saints belong to You.

Sitting in your beautiful darbar, with your saints, we belong to you, you belong to us. I love you, you love us. This moment is so precious. My mind drifts to be one with you.

Thaerae saevak ko bho kishh naahee jam nehee aavai naerae ||1|| rehaao ||
Your servant is not afraid of anything; the Messenger of Death cannot even approach him. ||1||Pause||

With this crown on my head, I am afraid of nothing. There is nothing that I am afraid of, except being far from you. This dastaar enables me to be like you: NIRBHAU! Waheguru.

Jo thaerai ra(n)g raathae suaamee thinh kaa janam maran dhukh naasaa ||
Those who are attuned to Your Love, O my Lord and Master, are released from the pains of birth and death.

Your love is my only support. Please keep me attached.

Thaeree bakhas n maettai koee sathigur kaa dhilaasaa ||2||
No one can erase Your Blessings; the True Guru has given me this assurance. ||2||

You blessed me with the beautiful gift of dastaar. You gave me assurance. I had my doubts about wearing the dastaar but you assured me. You showed me. You pushed me. You encouraged me. I cannot thank you enough, Waheguru.

Naam dhhiaaein sukh fal paaein aat(h) pehar aaraadhhehi ||
Those who meditate on the Naam, the Name of the Lord, obtain the fruits of peace. Twenty-four hours a day, they worship and adore You.

With this nishaani of a dastaar, I stay attuned to your rememberance. Every time I see a beautiful smile, I look in the mirror, I receive a compliment…they are not for me…they are in your praise. People saw me in your dastaar and thought of you. They thought of their King: Guru Gobind Singh Ji. They said Waah! I represented my father. If I wear this dastar 24/7 I will be reminded of my father. I will encourage others without even knowing it, with your grace. Please bless me Maharaj.

Thaeree saran thaerai bharavaasai pa(n)ch dhusatt lai saadhhehi ||3||
In Your Sanctuary, with Your Support, they subdue the five villains. ||3||

With your grace and support the five evils can be controlled. I consciously recognised how ego was trying so hard to win me over. But I consciously recognised it and remined myself not to get caught in the egotism. I prayed to Maharaj to help me through. He did. He came though.

Giaan dhhiaan kishh karam n jaanaa saar n jaanaa thaeree ||
I know nothing about wisdom, meditation and good deeds; I know nothing about Your excellence.

I thought I knew you, I thought I knew about meditation then you showed me a new light. I thought amrit wasn’t important and you turn the crystal so I can seee a new colour. That is a blessing.

Sabh thae vaddaa sathigur naanak jin kal raakhee maeree ||4||10||57||
Guru Nanak is the greatest of all; He saved my honor in this Dark Age of Kali Yuga. ||4||10||57||

You held my hand, Satgur Nanak. You are so great. I say thank you again and again and again.

I am the Fool

I wrote this yesterday but didn't get time to post...

Why Maharaj?
I cannot live without you simran
Why can't I go and sing you Keertan in the Sadh Sangat?
Why bring me so close and then chuck me away?


If I cannot do your Naam Simran; then take this jewel of life
Take it Maharaj
As Kabeer Ji said in the Hukam this morning – let the worms eat at my skin.

"Jab jaree-ai tab ho-ay bhasam tan rahai kiram dal khaa-ee."
"Jaree-ai" means to burn. "Tan" means body. When your body is burned, which you have so much pride over, then it simply becomes ashes. "Rahai". If the body is left, and not cremated, "kiram dal khaa-ee". "Dal" means army, "kiram" means ants and worms. Armies of ants and worms "khaa-ee", eat away at your rotting flesh.

As long as you re-unite my soul with you
Take it Maharaj
Don’t be far away
This soul is yours

But look what Maharaj says in the Rahaa-o line:
"Kaahay bha-ee-aa firtou fooli-aa fooli-aa."

"Kaahay" means why, "bha-ee-aa" means brother. Oh brother, "firtou" means to strut about. "Fooli-aa fooli-aa" means to pull, to puff up, to blossom with pride and ego. Kabeer Ji is talking to that man whose wearing the flowers around his neck and saying, those flowers are flowers of ego. But he’s talking to us now because we carry those flowers as well. We may not see them, they may not be physical, but we carry them around mentally. Kabeer Ji says why are you blossoming with pride, why are you blossoming with ego?

Look how much ego I show by asking Maharaj to take this life away. I am such a fool…..

"Jab das maas uraDh mukh rahtaa so din kaisay bhooli-aa. ||1|| rahaa-o."

"So din" means that day. "Das" means ten "maas" means months. For ten months, "uradh" means upside down, "mukh" means face. Your face was upside down for ten months. Have you forgotten that day? Kabeer Ji is trying to tell us how weak and feeble this body is, and how we need to connect to the soul. "Rahaa-o." Pause and this about this.

Sikhnet

Just like you are...

"Aadh sach jugaadh sach"

True In The Primal Beginning. True Throughout The Ages.

"Hai bhee sach naanak hosee bhee sach ||1||"
True Here And Now. O Nanak, Forever And Ever True. ||1||

My soul was yours
My soul is yours
My soul shall forever be yours...Waheguru

'Seeing is being'

The yearning for you continues
This urge to do simran
The sweetest pain in my heart
Why can’t I do simran in your sadh sangat?

You say this all the time to me
‘Seeing is being’
How can I see you in me?
Me? Me, Maharaj?

Yet I know you’re there
Deep, deep within the depths of me
I know you’re there
I feel you

"Darsan daykhat dokh nasay."
"Darsan" the blessed vision of God, "daykhat" having seen this, "dokh" means pain, and "nasay" means run away. All pains run away on seeing the blessed vision of God. Before we look at the rest of the hukamnaama, we must look at this word "darshan". It comes up a lot in the Guru Granth Sahib. What does this word darshan mean? Many people say seeing is believing, we hear that many times. But on a spiritual level, seeing is being. To see God you have to be one with God. Darsan is that stage when all you see is God. You have seen God within yourself, and realised that truely your atma, your soul, is a drop from the ocean of Waheguru, of God, and you see that Waheguru, that beloved God, through all. That is the true state of darsan, that is the true blessed vision. That is the state where all your pains run away. That state of realisation, because seeng is being in spiritual terms. We must remember this when talking about darsan. It is a very high level on the spiritual plane. Darshan. To achieve darshan in the aim of our lives. So keep that in mind. Seeing is being. To see God is to be one with God, to see Waheguru is to be one with Waheguru.

"Kabahu na hovhu darisat agochar jee-a kai sang basay. ||1|| Rahaa-o."
Oh God, Oh Waheguru, Oh "Agochar", the one who cannot be fathomed with this human mind, can not be mapped out with the mind. Please please oh God…"kabahu" means ever, but the "na" after it makes it negative, so it says never. Never leave my vision, my "darisat". Oh God, please never leave me now, I want to see you in all forever and ever. "Jee-a" means soul, "sang" means to be one with, to be with all the time. "Basay" means to abide. Oh God please never leave me now, abide with my soul, abide in my soul. Pause and think about what darshan means.

Sikhnet

Silent Prayer

Why is it that Simran is always the key?
From the heart I prayed to you Maharaj
You came through as always; blessed me with the courage
Thank you

Guru Arjan Dev Ji you gave your life for us
You showed immense courage
You taught us the power of Simran
Thank you

Many feelings, emotions today
Just like the Raags; the feelings of our Gurus
This sangat is key; for now and future
Thank you

Love your Sewa
Love your Simran
Love your Sangat
Thank you


Looking at me though, I don’t look the part…

Remember? When I was told that, ‘Guru Ji don’t love you as much as he loves his Gursikhs, his Khalsa Panth, his Amritdhari sons and daughters.’

I cried. I cried my eyes out. I remember that amrit vela distinictly. How could I forget? The day I thought you turned your back on me? The day I felt I had lost everything. The day there was no meaning to my life. The day I nearly lost you. I couldn’t stop the tears. Even on the tube.

I got off at my stop. Walked along the familiar platform, along the same steps. You spoke to me. You spoke to me.

I looked up and saw your message, so vivid, so clear:

‘Change the way you feel, not the way you look’

A fresh set of tears streamed down. This time of happiness. Of pyar. I couldn’t believe the pyar you had for me. Maharaj ina pyar?

I know I am not perfect and I have not taken initiation into the Khalsa Panth but Maharaj these are my baby steps. Hold my hand, guide me and never stop these tears. I love you so much. I make mistakes, Waheguru. I make MANY mistakes. I ask for your forgiveness, don’t ever leave my side.

This is my silent prayer. Seems so loud yet none hears a word. Waheguru you hear my every step.


"Kar kirpaa apnay parabh keenay naam apunay kee keenee daat."

God has done "kirpa", given his mercy, showered his grace upon us. God has blessed those saints, God has shown mercy upon them "apunay", he’s made them his own. What does that mean? "Apnay?" It means to make them one with him. He’s brought them within himself. "Parabh keenay" the Lord himself has done this. How? "Naam apunay kee keenee daat." "Daat" means the gift of. "Naam apunay" means of his name. God has given them the gift…. "Keenee" means to give… Has given them the gift of his own name. Through meditating on the naam, they become one with the Lord.

Sikhnet

Within God's Will

Before going to sleep I was worried
Worried of not being able to awaken
With your hukam I woke early
With you kirpa it was all possible

Today I truly learnt I have no power
I could make the biggest plans
Have the biggest dreams
Without your kirpa they are of no worth



Everything happens in your will Maharaj
Why can’t I just accept that?
Why is my mind anxious to oppose?
Did I make a mistake?

This pain, this yearning to be with you is a gift
It is the sweetest pain
My heart aches Maharaj
I ask for your blessing.




Maharaj says in today's Hukamnama...

"Mayray har jee-o sabh ko tayrai vas."

In this line, Guru Ji is talking directly to God: ""mayray har jee-o" means oh my beloved Lord, where "jee-o" is a term of love and respect, saying oh my dear God. "Sabh" means everything, "tayrai vas" means in your power, in your control ("vas" means control/power/command). Oh my dear God, everything is in your power/control.

"Asaa jor naahee jay kichh kar ham saakah ji-o bhaavai tivai bakhas. ||1|| Rahaa-o."

"Jor" means power, "naahee" means none at all. Guru Ji says I have no power at all. "Jay kichh kar ham saakah" means to do anything at all without you God. "Ji-o" means in which way, "bhaavai" means as it pleases you, to be in your will ("bhaavai" means to please), "bakhas" means to forgive, save, and liberate us. In any way you seem fit, oh God, in any way it pleases you please save us is all I ask. "Rahaa-o", pause and think Guru Ji says.

Sikhnet

Fear

I wrote this to you Maharaj on 27/12/05 @ 6:12 pm....

I feel so down so distant so depressed
From you, family, from life
I have nothing to smile about
But you have blessed me with so much

Marriage is such a hot topic
Guru Angad Dev ji says real marriage is to God himself
Real marriage is to unite with the almighty
I ask for just your simran

My hands are folded I only want your name
As the New Year approaches, time slips out of my hands
Please support me on this path
Bless me with your grace and never leave me Maharaj

Now realising what I wrote last year, I realise I am held back by fear. I am scared. Scared of being lost in Keertan, lost in Simran. But at the same time i hear the vibration of your name...WAHEGURU...WAHEGURU.....TUHI TUHI....TUHI TUHI....

The vibration I heard on Wednesday night...with the sadh sangat....I feel blessed. I Thank You Maharaj.

Guru Ji, you said this in the Hukamnama this morning from Darbar Sahib:

"Jagat agi-aanee anDh hai doojai bhaa-ay karam kamaa-ay."
"Jagat" means the world, "agi-aanee" means ignorant. But what are we ignorant of? The world is ignorant of love, of Waheguru, of that being that permeates through all of us. Due to this ignorance there is darkness. "AnDh hai" means blindness around the world. The world is blind to love and to God who permeates through all. "Doojai bhaa-ay karam kamaa-ay." Due to all this blindness, darkness that surrounds us "bhaa-ay" means in attachment. Guru Ji says in this love of duality of thinking dual, thinking about two things at once, not concentrating on the one, if we are not concentrating on the one we are going away from the message of "ik-oNkaar". "Karam kamaa-ay" where "karam" means actions and "kamaa-ay" means to do. We do actions but we act in blindness and in love of duality.


"Gur parsaadee sukh oopjai jaa gur kaa sabad kamaa-ay."
The only way of coming through this all is "Gur parsaadee". "Parsaadee" means grace and "gur" means Guru. By the Guru’s grace "sukh oopjai", we find true "sukh" which means peace and "oopjai" means is found from within you. With the Guru’s grace you find the true peace. "Kamaa-ay" which means to act, to live (in this case) according to the "gur kaa sabad" (the word "sabad" of the Guru "Gur kaa"). If with the Guru’s grace we act upon the word of the Guru, we meditate on the word of the Guru, we make the word of the Guru everything, then we shall find complete peace.
Sikhnet Hukam

Its all thru ur Kirpa Maharaj<<<TuHi TuHi>>>

Teri Deewani

There are so many things throughout my day that remind me of you. That one song I heard on TV, a tear fell from my eye becuase all I could think about was you, Maharaj.

Kailash Kher...Teri Deewani

*****

'tere naam se jee loon
tere naam se marr jaaun
tere naam se jee loon
tere naam se marr jaaun
teri jaan ke sadke mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani'
*****
I live when I hear your name, Maharaj.

Without your name Maharaj, I die.

I hang my head down and feel the longing for you Maharaj.

What have you done to me?

TERI DEEWANI