I don't want to carry on

This joke of a life

This facade or a fight

One battle I can do without

My heart is lost and no where to be found

You don't need me you have ur perfect life

Carry on so I will release you from these shackles as I do just pull u back

U deserve more kids deserve better

I can't do this no more

The fight I been battling is in my head 

It's one I cannot escape

My head whirls round and round

It wears me down to a point I will break 

My heart is so full from the weight of ur love

I have no where to go 

Nobody needs this sad fool

For misery is all I know

I never was like this I cared for everyone in my life

Now I'm exhausted and think of excuses to end my life 

Maharaj says if I end this now my soul has to stay but yet where do I go what do I say?

To whom do I turn where can I bury my face 

To lay my head in mother's lap and fall into

an eternal sleep. I won't move I won't run but happily let my last breath go cos you know a mother's arms are the one where you feel loved and protected 

I feel so alone in a house full of ppl I feel like I stand alone. It's wearing me down day by day and I have no where to go....

38 but 9 of which without you

Birthdays never are the same 

Mum would want to serve and please 

What special dish shall I make?

For it is that question for which my heart aches 

It will always be just another day

For she used to say it's about the kids

But I wanted to spoil her

Yet I feel I'm not worthy 

Mum is thr biggest advocate for her children

In her eyes we were all innocent and she would put herself in their shoes

Her heart was pure. Purest of the pure

Her hugs her warmth her beautiful aroma

Fresh all encompassing Mother 

No need for anyone else

My complete world. My All.

There's a sadness I carry within the depths of my soul 

Yearning to be just one with her soul 

She will come to get me that's the reason I carry on

Just one glimpse one hug from my heart

Love you from the depths of my soul for eternity and beyond. 

RIP Sidhu Moosewala

Ni ehda uthuga jawani ch janaja mithiye (The funeral will happen in youth).