Exhausted

Remember when you told me off whilst being potty trained?
Remember when you would celebrate every birthday?
Remember when you would cook the best dishes?
Remember how you put everyone before you?

Remember how you hugged us close even when we did wrong?
Remember how you would avoid arguments?
Remember how we would all turn to you?

We have to be brave.  This is hukam but Maharaj I am emotionally tired.  I am exhausted from putting this front on when I am crumbling day by day.  It is nothing to do with physically helping out at Mum's but of being positive and smiling and acting as if all is okay when I cannot stand to see Mum in pain.  When she is in pain I want to close my eyes really tight and open them once she is the Mum I remember.....

I love you Mum.  You are and always will be my first Guru.

Maharaj please hold Mum's hand.  She has never done wrong by anyone.  Please don't let her be in pain through this tough time of cancer....

I love you Mum

There are times when only a Mother's love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappoints
And calm all of our fears.
There are times when only a Mother's love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we've dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real.

There are times when only a Mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.



For a Mother's heart and a Mother's faith
And a Mother's steadfast love
Were fashioned by the Angels
And sent from Maharaj above...
- Author Unknown. 

Cancer

Maharaj,

There is only one person in this world that gives me support.  I see you in her eyes.  She was and will always be my first Guru, my best friend my everything.  You are taking her away from me? Why? What is the use in living when she won't be around.  I know everything is in your Hukam but Maharaj it's my Mum.   I love her so much.  Right now I feel like a zombie - trying to be as normal as possible but every night I go to sleep with the cancer thought in my mind and wake up hoping it was a bad dream.  It is a horrible situation and I don't want my Mum to go.  Take me instead. I don't want her to be in any pain.

Please be with her every step of this way for the fight against cancer

I don't know where to turn to what to do....

I will never leave my Mum's side...please help and support us Maharaj