Exhausted

Remember when you told me off whilst being potty trained?
Remember when you would celebrate every birthday?
Remember when you would cook the best dishes?
Remember how you put everyone before you?

Remember how you hugged us close even when we did wrong?
Remember how you would avoid arguments?
Remember how we would all turn to you?

We have to be brave.  This is hukam but Maharaj I am emotionally tired.  I am exhausted from putting this front on when I am crumbling day by day.  It is nothing to do with physically helping out at Mum's but of being positive and smiling and acting as if all is okay when I cannot stand to see Mum in pain.  When she is in pain I want to close my eyes really tight and open them once she is the Mum I remember.....

I love you Mum.  You are and always will be my first Guru.

Maharaj please hold Mum's hand.  She has never done wrong by anyone.  Please don't let her be in pain through this tough time of cancer....