Calling from Dubai

This time last year

I remember calling you

Even if for a minute 

Just to hear you were ok

You were my energy

The reason to go on

I stop and wonder

Where to go now

If I could be anywhere 

Would be by your side

I miss you so much

More than mere words can describe

Day by day

The pain prolongs

Dips deep to drain

Every part of me that holds on

That I will see you again

I miss you

I love you Mum x 

One wish

To behold your blessed sight

To immerse in your light

To touch and feel your embrace

To kiss your cheek one more time

Feel empty 

Washed away

Not one glance

It only gets worse

If tears could convey

That piercing pain

That 18 month face would be no more

It would be ripped away

Just like my heart from yours

With folded hands I make one wish

Just tell me you are ok

I dreamt I saw you just as normal

Why can't you be here

My Guru, My love, My Mum

I miss you so much

How do I go on...? 

I wait for you

Close my eyes to make the world stop

Life is passing but what's the use

I question if I will ever cope?

Without Mum what's the use?

With the sincerity of the soul

Yearning of my heart

Empty ness of my eyes

I wait for you...

Deep within I ask for you

That wherever you are

You are one with Akaal Purakh

Back in June

You said you didn't want to leave us

But coming and going is beyond our control

I didn't want you to go

I held you so tight

We cried and I asked Maharaj to help us

Where can I go to see you?

I dream of you often

Your presence is absorbed in everything I do

Our thoughts continuously reminisce 

Waheguru x

Why Mum?

Today as I drove to work my mind was enriched with thoughts of Mum

Some that made me so sad

Brought a tear to the eye

Knowing my physical body wont be able to see, touch or feel my beautiful Mother

 

Maharaj hukam today

I always ask Mum

Why did you leave me? I need you SO much

Maharaj says O friend, such is the Dear Lord whom I have obtained. He does not leave me, and He always keeps me company

He does not leave me to go anywhere else

 

Waheguru if you a truly there

Why Mum?

Why did Mum have to go?

What did I do that was so bad that I have to go on without my mother?

 

x

 

 

 

Surreal

Mum hated fireworks

Loved to cook all lovely dishes

Went gurdwara

Rose early to start in her kitchen

I feel so alone

Like a part of me has gone

Mother Best Friend Voice of Reason first Guru

She was beautiful from the core

Everything feels so surreal

I'm carrying on but don't believe she has gone

I still feel my Mum

I dream about Mum

Just normal scenes

I love you Mum x