Friday Night

I didnt want to leave your darbar
Your keertan, your saints
I wanted to just stay there
Blessed are those who have the freedom to do so

You showed so much love Maharaj
Bin Bolya Sabh Janda
I did not need to say a word
You knew my every thought

Friday evening I was blessed in going to see Guru Ji. It was the first time after camp so I felt really nervous (don’t ask why!). As I went to bow my head to Guru Ji I just had an overwhelming surge of emotions and was thankful of being able to sit so close to Guru Maharaj. Just being in Guru Ji’s presence is amazing. The feelings, the calmness is out of this world.

To hear the keertan was a blessing. Thank you Maharaj. I also heard a beautiful sabad that I still cannot get out of my head. The one line keeps replaying:

“aaj maerai aaeae hai”

Such beautiful words. I didn’t know what they meant but I could feel what Mahraj was saying. At the time it felt as if Guru Ji was expressing to camp sangat how happy he was to see everyone, happy that everyone had returned to feel the bliss of camp that can only be felt in Guru Ji’s presence. I felt so much love that night that I cannot even begin to explain. So many thoughts went through my head. I asked my brother Rishipal Singh to go through the sabad he was singing. He wrote something so beautiful.

Bhai Gurdas Diya Varan

supan charithr chithr baanak banae bachithra


paavan pavithr mithr aaj maerai aaeae hai ||


param dhaeiaal laal lochan bisaal mukha


bachan rasaal madhh madhhur peeaaeae hai ||


sobhith sijaasan bilaasan dhai a(n)kamaala


praemaras bisam hue sehaj samaaeae hai ||


chaathrik sabadh sun akheeaa oughar gee


bhee jal meen gath bireh jagaaeae hai ||aaa||

Imagine you are lost in a good dream. You are just coming to the main part, the most exciting part. Your heart is racing, you can feel your self filled with immense passion and joy and then all of a sudden you wake. And then you sit in despair. You think to your self ‘What was that all about? What was going to happen next? You are left at a cliff hanger and you have come to the dramatised music which tells you that the show has ended and you have to wait for the next showing (Rishipal Singh).


(Wow, this gives me butterflies just thinking about it.
To be so close yet so far
The yearning thereafter is unbearable
Your heart does not let you rest)

In the same way Bhai Gurdas Ji talks of the moment he saw the beautiful vision of his Beloved like a dream. But like a dream he came and he went. Like a glimpse, the glimpse has now left him with intense love but now also with intense yearning for now he wishes he falls asleep again so he may see his Beloved again. Guru Nanak Maharaj says this in one of his amazing sentiments. (Rishipal Singh) They say

supanai aaeiaa bhee gaeiaa mai jal bhariaa roe ||
In a dream, He came, and went away again; I cried so many tears.

aae n sakaa thujh kan piaarae bhaej n sakaa koe ||
I can't come to You, O my Beloved, and I can't send anyone to You.

aao sabhaagee needharreeeae math sahu dhaekhaa soe ||
Come to me, O blessed sleep - perhaps I will see my Husband Lord again.

(I sit and wonder
I have not had your darshan
I have not had this dream
But I feel that intense love

Is that possible?)
The vision of his Beloved came. And now in longing he searches for that vision he will go anywhere and everywhere to search for it.

In the same way Bhai Gurdas ji in this shabad says that something an entity so unusual and exciting has come over him that he has become overwhelmed with emotions like the excitement of a child.

(Rishipal Singh) This supreme being, the most compassionate and merciful came before him and now Bhai Gurdas Jis eyes pine for seeing this Beloved again. This Beloved was so radiant, he was so great and beyond contemplation and comprehension. His words were so sweet; He fed me sweet honey and intoxicated me with his wine of love. Sitting on his high throne Bhai Gurdas ji sees him, beholds him and is lost in his love. This love has gripped him and this love surrounds him and this state of peace existed even for those few seconds. Just like the sound of the Chatrik, the sweet bird that hums in the early hours of the morning. Just like a sweet song that makes you alert at once, Bhai Gurdas ji is now in deep spiritual depression, longing to hear the sound of his Beloved once again. Just like the fish taken out of the water which longs to fall back in, Bhai Gurdas ji pines for that sleep to come once again so he may see his Beloved that one more time. For that moment of experience meant a lifetime and one where the memory will exist forever to come.

Thankyou Rishipal Singh

(There is nothing more left to say)